


The Universe Actually Hates Him

by Timewormbloom



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Michelle Jones, Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Mutant Peter Parker, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Parker Luck, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker-centric, Protective Michelle Jones, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, i know absolutely nothing about the x-men and you can probably tell, will update tags as I go along
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23816812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timewormbloom/pseuds/Timewormbloom
Summary: Peter always thought that his Parker-Luck was nothing special. A little irritating, sure, but not something as exciting as an extra power. Until he gets kidnapped and saddled with a power-suppressing collar that might be able to keep the decaying mess that is his civilian identity afloat. No one else is happy about this.
Relationships: Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Charles Xavier, Peter Parker & Michelle Jones, Peter Parker & Stephen Strange, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 13
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

Peter didn't know what was going on. Granted, that applied to the entirety of his life post-bite, but this took the cake. There was a rough, slightly jagged surface against his back that he recognized as cinder blocks. A glance told him that he was still in-suit, but there was an unfamiliar weight around his neck that his head was way too fuzzy to place. His hands flew up to his face and tugged at his mask, just to reassure himself that it was still there. They trailed down to his neck and grabbed the foreign object. 

It went all the way around his neck with a chain leading out in the back. A quick jerk of his head confirmed that it kept him shackled to the wall. It took his sluggish brain a minute to connect the dots and realize that someone had put a collar on him. Another minute later, and he realized that they had also managed to drug him with something strong enough to knock him out. And he was out for a while, considering they had the time to drag him here and chain him up. 

His vision was still swimming, but details were slowly coming back into focus. Large lumps floating off to the side turned into people slumped against the wall like he was. They had the same collar and chain combo keeping them in place. No-one else was wearing anything resembling a hero suit, which raised more questions than it answered. If they weren’t going after heros, why was he here? And if this was a regular trafficking scenario, they wouldn’t drop a hero right in the middle of it.

Thinking about it, no one here had anything in common. He saw other teenagers next to people that could have been their grandparents. Their race didn’t seem to be a factor either. He groaned and wiggled into a more upright position. Thinking was not doing his brain any favors at the moment.

He was still too sluggish to pull out the chains, so he aimlessly glanced around the room looking for clues. Ten seconds later, a very obvious one slapped him in the face. Scattered throughout the room were posters. There was one right in his line of sight and it wasn’t like he had anything else to do. It showed a grotesque monster lying docile with a thick collar around its neck. 

“Shit.” Peter tried to avoid swearing in-costume, but this was a special circumstance. He’d seen that poster before. MJ had brought a whole stack of them to school once for a presentation and gone on a rant during lunch. It was part of a propaganda campaign that championed power-suppressing collars for mutants. The other posters had similar themes. He thumped his head against the wall.

The one thing he never expected to face as Spider-man was anti-mutant fanatics, seeing as he was very much not a mutant. But there’s a first time for everything. 

If there was one bright side, he could finally move his arms without them shaking. His legs seemed okay when he moved to a crouch. His head was awkwardly dragged down next to the wall, but he was upright. He tugged on the chain to test it out. It nearly popped out of the wall with just only a hint of his power. The collar was plastered against his skin, so that would have to stay for now. Peter felt himself grinning. These goons had made some very serious mistakes, and what better way to correct them than with a practical demonstration? Now he just had to deal with the ten other people stuck in here with him. 

\--

“Hello? Can you hear me? I’d be really nice if you could wake up right about now,” Peter huffed. His other fellow hostages were in a loose semicircle around him, but no matter what he did the last person wasn’t stirring. He leaned in even closer and poked at their face. They mumbled something and swatted his hand away. “I don’t have time for this. What the heck did they even give you? You’re like a log.” He hefted them up on his back. 

“Can we please leave now?” One of the younger hostages was huddled against the person next to her. Their eyes were locked on the door and they were shaking like a leaf. Everyone else was looking at least a little uneasy, leaving Peter the calmest (conscious) person in the room. 

“Yeah, let’s go. Whoever did this might come back.” Peter strode past the group to the reinforced door. He pressed his ear to the door and tried to pick out any sounds of life. When he heard nothing, he backed up and sent a well-placed kick at the doorknob. It made a crunch sound, and a few shoves later they were free. 

They trailed through the plain hallways in a tight clump. The entire place seemed deserted, but Peter kept his guard up. He’d passed the still-unconscious person off to one of his larger companions to keep his hands free. His web-shooters had managed to survive the whole ordeal, so he was ready for some action. 

“There they are!” Peter spun around to face the goons charging at them. There were only two, thankfully. He charged at the pair and jumped up the wall to draw their fire. They were sending bullet after bullet at him, but he somehow managed to dodge them all. By the time he reached them, they were all fresh out of amo. He dropped down as they scrambled back. He rushed them and shot some webs off.

“I guess you guys blew your budget on these collars. Honestly, I’m embarrassed for you,” Peter quipped. He gave the cocooned kidnappers another layer of webs, just to make sure they were stuck. “Alright, let’s bust out of here.”

\--

Peter slammed the next door open. He estimated that they’d been at this for maybe half an hour, but there wasn’t any sort of exit in sight. Guards were few and far between, and even then they were taken out within seconds. Peter was starting to feel embarrassed about being kidnapped by these guys. His spidey-sense hadn’t even felt the need to intervene.

He slammed the next one open not expecting much, and that’s what he got. It was another empty room, just like the last dozen. He gave it an obligatory glance before spinning around.

“Another dead end,” he sighed. He never thought getting kidnapped could be boring. It had turned into aimless wandering and near-obsessive headcounts. It was starting to make him nervous. The longer things went well for him, the worse the fall. And the lack of injuries was starting to make him a little paranoid. 

They started to trudge along again. How many rooms could this place even have? Peter was on the verge of just punching through the walls and hoping for the best. He could use the stress relief if anything.

“Is that what I think it is?” Peter stopped in his tracks. There was an emergency exit sign staring him in the face, complete with an arrow pointing further down the hall. 

“Could it be a trap?” Someone behind him wondered. 

“It could be. But I don’t know if they’re smart enough to think of something like that.” Peter stared at the sign and rubbed his head. Following it was a gamble, but it could also be their best chance at finding an escape route. “Then again, if they wanted to lure us somewhere they would have put it closer to our cell.”

“We’re walking that way anyway. It’s one of the only hallways left,” a different person agreed. Everyone turned to look at Peter, who’s panic was starting to grow again. He did not sign up for this responsibility! He still had a curfew for crying out loud! A curfew that he had to meet unless he wanted to kiss the mask goodbye for the next week.

“Let’s vote, raise your hand if you want to try this out.” Most of the people raised their hands. The last few hesitantly put their hands up too when they noticed that they were outnumbered. Peter nodded. “Alright, the arrow’s going that way. Hopefully, we’ll reach an exit soon.”

\--

“You have got to be kidding me.” Peter wanted to slam his head against a wall. Just not the wall he was currently facing. “That has to be a trap. No way that’s actually an exit.” The arrows had led to a bright red door labeled as an emergency exit. There wasn’t any sort of lock on it, and light spilled from the cracks. “Well, we might as well.” 

Peter threw the door open and readied himself to fight. But he just got a face full of sunlight and was left squinting at a normal-looking street. He didn’t recognize it but looked like New York City. Peter felt the nerves melt off him. He’d gotten everyone out alive, and they wouldn’t have to hike back through a forest or something.

“This is my neighborhood! I live right around that corner!” someone yelled. He looked relieved, but a little panicked about the criminals being on his doorstep. 

“Do you know where the nearest police station is?” Peter asked. Now that they were out, his first priority was making sure the kidnappers were shut down and arrested. There was also the issue of how they got the collars. Things like this always went deeper than you’d expect, maybe even deeper than the police could go. After he got these people sorted, he’d have to find someone with even more influence. The fact that they were after mutants complicated things even further. 

“Come on people, we’re not completely safe yet.”

\--

“Spider-man, this is a surprise.” Peter shifted awkwardly in the chair. Something about being in a normal office while in costume felt wrong, in a weird way. Even if Professor X was the one right in front of him. 

“Trust me, I wasn’t expecting to be here either.”

“So there is a situation. It would explain your nerves.” Xavier looked at him with interest. 

“Yeah. It has a lot to do with this.” Peter pulled his mask up to fully reveal the collar. He still hadn’t bothered to take it off, since he hadn’t felt any negative side-effects yet and he could stretch his mask to cover it up. Xavier stared at his neck in shock.

“That’s a power suppressing collar. How on earth did that happen?”

“There’s the problem. I figured since it had to do with mutants, you’d want to know,” Peter replied. “I think they assumed I was a mutant and dragged me into it. They had about ten other people besides me locked up there. We broke out, but I don’t know anything beyond the location of the building. They also had some drug that managed to pretty much ignore my enhanced metabolism.”

“That could be concerning. Do you mind if we take a sample? It could still be in your bloodstream and we need all the leads we can get.”

“I don’t know if you’ll find anything, but go ahead I guess.”

\--

Peter idly poked at the collar. He’d been waiting long enough for any hints of adrenaline to be long gone, so he was slumped over in the chair trying not to fall asleep. He’d already called May about a last-minute sleepover with Ned. He could stay as long as he wanted, then just slip into Ned’s room. He almost felt concerned about how easy it was. 

“Spider-man? I have some exciting news.” Xavier finally made his entrance. 

“Exciting in a good way or in a ‘you’re going to die but it’ll be funny’ kind of way?” Peter asked nervously. “Because in my personal experience, I find that I prefer the first one.” Peter was starting to ramble, but he couldn't stop. 

“Depends on how you go forward.” Well, that wasn’t reassuring in the slightest. “We found something very unexpected. It appears that the kidnappers hit the mark when they took you. It’s not connected to your spider-powers, but you do possess mutant abilities.” 

Peter choked on nothing. It was a testament to his Parker-luck that he managed to go this long without knowing. He could have some awesome ability that could take crime-fighting to the next level, and he never knew!

“What is it? Can I shoot fire out of hands or something? That’d be really cool! But it’d get in the way of my other powers…” Peter wondered. He’d jumped to his feet and was pacing in small circles while waving his hands around. His mind was racing. This could be a turning point in his life!

“No, nothing like that. It appears that you simply have bad luck.” Peter screeched to a halt and started at Xavier. 

“Could you run that by me again?” Peter weakly asked.

“Your mutant ability is your bad luck. I’d be in your best interests to learn how to harness this new ability.”

Peter collapsed back on the chair. His mind had started racing, and he’d barely heard the last sentence. His Parker-luck wasn’t just an unfortunate coincidence, the universe was actually out to get him. It certainly put a lot of things back into perspective. His thoughts strayed to the collar around his neck. If the collar suppressed mutant abilities and his bad luck was a mutant ability, then was the collar the reason why they escaped so easily? 

“Spider-man, let’s get that off of you. Suppressing your abilities is to suppress a vital part of yourself.”

“That’s nice and all, but I’d like to go more than a year without a loved one dying. So I’ll be going now…” Peter was back to rambling as he made a beeline for the window. Xavier called out after him, but Peter was already halfway out the window.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter focuses on the collar in Peter's civilian life. The next one will deal with Spider-man and the superhero community.

Peter wished this whole thing had gone down in the winter. Then he could find an appropriately geeky turtleneck (probably science-themed) and buy some time while he made a slimmer version. But it was nearly summer, so any attempts to hide it would probably stick out more than the collar. And with his Parker Luck neutralized, people might assume it was a weird fashion choice. He was starting to feel pretty good about this whole thing. 

That feeling went away when someone grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him to a secluded corner next to the school entrance. He tensed, ready to sprint away if it was Flash trying to get ahead of schedule. But it was MJ who was looming above him looking ready to murder. His head was awkwardly shoved up as she grabbed at the collar.

“Who did this.” MJ was fuming as she poked at it. Peter tried to wave her hands off, but MJ pinned him with a glare. 

“It’s not like that!” He stammered as he tried to explain. He should have realized MJ would notice! She was the reason he knew about them in the first place, for crying out loud.

“Really? Because it looks like you’re wearing a mutant suppressing collar.” She was starting to look outright murderous. 

“No, it isn’t. Collars are the newest trend nowadays, they’re everywhere! So it’s fine, really!” MJ was giving him one of her ‘do I look like an idiot’ looks that were usually reserved for Flash and his goons. Crap, she wasn’t buying it. “Well, would you look at the time. The bell’s going to ring. Better get to class.” 

“Peter.” MJ caught him by the backpack as he tried to duck around her. “I can help you if you need it.” She stared right into his soul and Peter found himself relaxing slightly. So she wasn’t trying to bite his head off. That was always nice to hear.

“Really, I’m wearing this because I want to! Everything’s fine,” he assured her. She slowly released him, looking a little unsure. “I’ll see you at lunch.” He slunk back off into the crowd to find Ned. The story he’d rushed out over the phone last night hadn’t done the absurdity of the whole situation justice. Hopefully, their teacher wouldn’t notice them passing notes in the corner. 

\--

“Peter, I’m home.” Peter could hear his aunt opening the door and entering the apartment. He rolled off his bed and headed into the living room to give her a hug. She returned it with a kiss on the check. 

“Someone’s in a good mood today.” She smiled at him while she put her purse down. He followed her into the kitchen and leaned against the counter while she got herself a glass of water. 

“Yeah! I didn’t step in gum once, I didn’t lose my homework on the way home, and I wasn’t late to anything. The best day I’ve had all month,” he replied with a smile. She gave him a strange look. 

“That sounds like a normal day to me. Well, I have some stuff I need to take care of. I’ll be in my room.” She gave him a smile as she walked off into the hall. Peter stood there for a second, wondering. He’d assumed that his Parker Luck only caused the major inconveniences, but did his entire life suck? He needed to call Ned. 

“Ned, dude. I need to ask you some questions,” Peter blurted into his phone the second his friend picked up.

“If this is about the math homework, I haven’t done it yet either.”

“No, this is about the collar.” Peter ran his hands through his hair and his leg started to bounce. Ned went silent, but Peter could hear him scrambling around.

“Alright, I’m alone now. What’s up?” Ned whispered in a comically quiet voice that no one other than Peter would have been able to hear. 

“I think Parker Luck made my entire life suck. I thought it only caused the really big stuff, not minor inconveniences.” Ned went oddly silent for a second.

“Dude, you didn’t realize? I’ve never met someone as unlucky as you. It’s not normal.” Ned sounded nonchalant like Peter wasn’t having a minor crisis. 

“...I should have gotten one of these things years ago.”

“If this isn’t about the homework I’m gonna go ahead and hang up.”

\--

Peter sighed to himself as he shut his locker. He could hear Flash strutting down the hall, so he put his phone away so it wouldn’t get broken. Hopefully, the collar would ward him off. He subtly glanced around to try and spot MJ without any luck. 

“Parker.” ...And there it is. But it was weird for Flash to use his actual name instead of whatever middle school-esc nickname he’s come up with that week. Peter slowly turned around to look him in the eyes. His strangely fearful eyes. Did MJ sneak up behind him while he wasn’t looking? “Just because you wearing that stupid thing, don’t think you’re better than everyone else!” He shouted before scurrying off, leaving Peter to blankly look after him. 

“Okay, now I’m confused.” 

\--

“Something is weird with Flash.” Peter set his tray down next to Ned with a touch more force than necessary, causing some carrots to fly off. MJ pushed them back without looking up from her book. 

“You’re going to have to be more specific. When is something not wrong with Flash.” Ned rolled his eyes. 

“He looked afraid of me for some reason. And he mentioned the collar. It’s weirding me out.” Peter glanced at Flash’s table out of the corner of his eyes. He could have sworn that some of them were sneaking looks back at him. 

“Oh, yeah. That thing. People have been talking about it all morning. You would not believe the rumors that are flying around.” Ned gestured to another group that was sending them weird looks. 

“People are afraid that you’re going to reveal some sort of mutant power and go on a rampage or something. Which is stupid, if you ask me. If Peter had powers, I don’t think he would use them to cause chaos at a high school.” MJ looked up from her book just long enough to give Peter one of those glances that made him rethink his skills at keeping a secret identity. “The others are split between apathy, support, or thinking you’re doing the ‘responsible thing’ by.” MJ made a face at that last one. 

“This could be really, really bad. What if people find out...that?” Ned hissed into his ear as MJ went back to her book. 

“Lots of people have powers. My...nightlife won’t get involved with this.” Peter whispered back. If something had happened before the collar, he would have been worried. But with his Parker Luck neutralized, he had nothing to fear!

\--

Peter hissed and yanked his hand back after he got zapped for the tenth time. But at least everything was in place. He carefully screwed the last panel in place and sat back to observe his newest creation. He slowly picked it up and slid it around his neck. It was a lot slimmer than the original collar, which was pulled apart on the other side of his desk. This one also had Star Wars printed all over it, so it’d be easier to play it off as a fashion thing. 

“Peter? Are you ready to go?” And there’s Aunt May. Time to take this thing for a test drive in public. If he could go through the entire meal without something being spilled down his pants he’d consider it a success. 

Hopefully, this one would fit under his mask. He’d benched Spider-man for the past week because his alter-ego wearing the same collar might raise some eyebrows.

\--

“I’m dying.” Peter slumped in his seat with his hands glued to his ears and his eyes screwed shut. 

“Then go home.” MJ flipped over the worksheet with no sympathy. 

“My test next period isn’t going to wait for a migraine.” Peter edged his eyes open slightly, only to slam them shut again. 

“Can you even take a test like that?” 

“I’ll manage,” Peter mumbled. 

“This is the third time this week. I think this is becoming a problem.” MJ was starting to look a little concerned. 

“Don’t worry. I’m working on it.” Peter raised his head just long enough to smile at the direction he assumed MJ was at with his eyes closed. 

“This is why I don’t want you wearing that thing.” 

“Relax, I know a guy.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pacing felt weird when I tried to put this stuff with the ending, so you get a bonus chapter

Peter sprawled put on the roof of a random building with his feet dangling off the edge. There were some people gathered beneath him, but otherwise, Peter was on his own. Mr. Stark had assured him that Dr. Strange would meet up with him, but here he was. Camped out on top of a building with nothing to show for it. He huffed as he pulled himself to his feet and stretched his limbs out. 

“Make it quick. I’m only here so Stark will stop pestering me. I don’t have all day.” Peter froze at the gruff order. There was a man emerging from a glowing circle of light. 

“Dr. Strange? Hi, Spider-man. I need to ask you about something,” Peter rambled as he approached the other hero, only to be stopped when Dr. Strange held out his hand.

“I’m going to stop you right there. No, I can’t teach you magic. And if the universe isn’t going to implode the next day I don’t care.” 

Peter waved his hands. “Oh, no I’m not here for something like that. You’re an actual neurosurgeon, right?” 

Dr. Strange froze and gave him an odd look. “You’re here for a medical consultation?” 

“Sort of.”

\--

Stephen watched the spider-themed hero swing off. He felt oddly satisfied after that ordeal. It felt nice to be recognized for something other than magic, but that interaction set off a few small bells in his head. Where did the kid even get a collar like that? Well, it was Stark’s problem now.

\--

Peter found himself back at his desk, hunched over another collar. The second version had joined the original in a box shoved under his bed where no one would ever see them again. He had his notes from Dr. Strange scattered around his desk with his blueprints. He’d spent the entirety of the previous weekend bent over his desk, trying to fend off his migraines. 

He held the final product in the air. It looked exactly like the previous design, nerdy details and all, but it had a few vital changes inside. He eagerly wrapped it around his neck and snapped it shut. He pumped his hand and tried to muffle his scream of excitement. He sent a quick photo to Ned before collapsing on his bed. He smiled at his ceiling giddily as he ran his fingers over the smooth material. He had spent hours trying to find the perfect material, but the comfort made it worth it. 

Speaking of comfort, his jeans felt way too restrictive. He shuffled over to his closet and blearily rooted through to find some PJs. He must have been working longer than he thought if he was this tired. He threw his clothes off into a corner somewhere for him to deal with later and pulled an old t-shirt over his head. Well, he tried. But he somehow got himself tangled up. He wiggled around and tried to pry it off until he felt his foot catch on something and he went flying. 

His head hit the floor hard and he spent a minute lying there. Here was the mighty Spider-man, conquered by a shirt and his own floor. He groaned before finally managing to pull it on like a normal human being. 

“I thought you were supposed to stop stuff like this,” he grumbled as he poked at the collar. 

\--

“Penis! I see you finally ditched the collar. Guess that was just another one of your lies.” Peter sensed Flash approaching before he felt the elbow drive into his back. He let himself fall forward, but he angled himself slightly so his shoulder took the force instead of his head. He mentally checked out as Flash kept grumbling. His backpack stayed zipped, which was a silver lining. He was starting to run out of clean notebooks.

He didn’t bother zoning back in until he heard MJ tearing Flash a new one. He blinked up at her when she pulled him to his feet.

“You need to stop letting him do that.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My whole ‘scrawny nerd’ aesthetic isn’t just for show.” Peter had partly given up on keeping his powers a secret from MJ, but on the very off chance that she was just being generally cryptic he still kept up appearances. MJ shot him a look that he decided to ignore.

“Stuff like this only happens to you.” MJ rolled her eyes and shoved him slightly. She strode away off to her first class, only stopping to send one last glare at Flash. 

\--

“Hey, Peter! The new design looks great! Can you show me the….” Ned squawked as Peter dragged him off to the side after the bell rang. They found themselves in an empty bathroom far away from the cafeteria. Ned looked a little ruffled as Peter started to pace in front of him. 

“Is something wrong, dude? You look pretty stressed,” Ned asked as he tracked Peter with his eyes. 

“Something’s very wrong. This thing is supposed to suppress my Parker Luck, but it’s as strong as ever!” Peter was close to yanking out his own hair. He settled for quietly screaming at the ceiling. 

“What happened?” Ned was starting to join Peter in the panic. 

“I hurt myself taking a freaking shirt off, and Flash is as annoying as ever,” Peter ranted. Ned looked confused.

“Yeah? That still sucks but that’s normal stuff. Your Parker Luck probably only applies to really big stuff.” Ned shrugged. Peter froze and turned to face him.

“That makes sense, but then what qualifies as Parker Luck? Where’s the divide?” Peter leaned against the sink and banged his head lightly on the wall. 

“As much as I would love to test that, I don’t think it really matters. The really big stuff has already been blocked, and so far you’re left with minor annoyances. Well, minor by your standards.” 

“I guess. But this whole thing is still freaking me out.” 

“Maybe you need more data? Try patrolling with it on and record the differences,” Ned suggested. Peter brightened up a little.

“Yeah! My sample size is really small, and I need more trials,” Peter declared as he gave Ned a quick hug. “Come on, I’m hungry and it’s pizza day.”

“Now you’re getting somewhere!”


	4. Chapter 4

Peter threw himself off the top of his building. He flew through the familiar motions of shooting off a web and swinging off. There wasn’t anything major that needed his attention, so this patrol was for research purposes only. Just a quick test drive. He would find some purse-snatchers then go home and get enough sleep to function like a human being. Sounds easy enough, right? 

Until Peter found himself sprinting down the street being chased by the newest supervillain of the week (something snake-themed this time around if the hissing was anything to go off of). Normally, he’d just shoot some webs and call it good, but that was the issue. His web-shooters were gunked up and sitting uselessly on his wrists. 

He sprinted up the side of a building, nearly dodging the scale that was sent up after him. It caught the edge of his suit and left him with a nasty gash on his neck, thankfully missing the collar. He was not looking forward to explaining that tear to Mr. Stark. He ducked behind a comically stereotypical gargoyle as he tried to stop the bleeding. He peaked out to see the villain prowling around the alley.

“You can’t hide from me, Spider!” they roared. Peter tried to calm down and assess the scene. His webs were only one part of his powers, so he wasn’t totally defenseless. He nodded to himself and took a moment to breathe. 

He slowly backed away from the edge. There was another roar and a thumping sound that Peter assumed was the villain scaling the wall. He noted that pun for later as he silently leaped across the rooftop. He lowered himself until he was watching the villain slowly pull their way up the other building using the same scales they tried to decapitate him with. He waited until they were most of the way up before jumping over the side of the building. They noticed him and tried to throw another scale at him, but it went flying harmlessly over his head. Turns out it’s hard to throw something over your shoulder when you’re clinging to the side of a building. 

They hissed and slowly picked their way back down, but Peter was already out of the alley and halfway to his backpack. He had a minute before they finished their climb back down, so if he kept sprinting he could grab his back-up web cartridge. He ducked behind a dumpster and scrambled to get his backpack open. He half ripped the inner lining, but within seconds he was airborne. He just hoped that none of the people who had stopped to watch the fight had gotten any closer.

As it turns out, it’s also rather hard to throw scales at people when your arms are webbed to the building you finally managed to climb down.

\--

Peter popped his head through the window Friday was nice enough to open for him. Tony was bent over something in the middle of the room with music blasting, which was reason enough for Peter to slowly crawl up the wall and loom above him. He unstuck his hands so his upper body swung right into Tony’s field of vision. His mentor made an odd wheezing sound, but at least he didn’t fall over. Peter dropped down and landed next to Tony. 

“Just the spider-ling I was looking for. Care to explain why I couldn’t get in contact with you for days, and why the entire internet is freaking out over that collar they got a glimpse of?” Tony leaned against the table and raised his eyebrows. Peter sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. 

“You haven’t been in the country in a week. It’s a miracle you found the time to bug Dr. Strange into meeting with me.” Peter waved his hand as he plopped down on a chair next to Tony. 

“The meeting I thought was about homework or something. You were lucky I’m down with bugging him at a moment’s notice. But can we get back to the collar you aren’t even trying to hide right now?” Peter froze with his mask half pulled off his head. 

“How did you even find out about that?” he sheepishly ran his fingers over it.

“Reporters. Did you really think that you could swing around with half your neck on display without people noticing? While you temporarily lost your webs? After the announcement that a massive anti-mutant group kidnapped like a dozen people using collars?” Tony gave him an exasperated look.

“...I didn’t know that went public.” 

“You really need to watch the news more.” 

“I’ve been busy, okay?” Peter grumbled, trying to defend himself. Tony didn’t seem too impressed. “Can we get back to the collar? It’s kinda the reason I’m here. I was wondering if you could take a look at it.” Peter fumbled with the latch as he took it off. He tensed slightly as it left his neck, and he seemed a bit jumpy after he passed it over to Tony. 

“You did a good job, kid.” Tony pulled a screwdriver out of somewhere and started poking around. Within a minute the collar was neatly stripped apart and scattered around. Peter hung over his shoulder. His gaze flittered between Tony’s face and his creation. “Everything looks good to me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive. By all means, this thing should be running just fine.” Tony swiftly pieced it back together. Peter bit his lip as he stared down at it. “So. I’m getting the feeling that you want me to say something very specific here.” 

“It’s just that… things are still going wrong. This was supposed to stop all my bad luck, but that hasn’t exactly worked out.” Peter slumped down with his head leaning on the table. 

“Wait, bad luck? I thought this was you having another ‘I just want to be a normal kid’ crisis.” Tony gave him a weird look.

“No, is that what you think this is? This thing doesn’t even work on my spider powers.” 

“Well, you didn’t exactly mention any other reason. And I’ve heard from...certain sources that teens don’t like being forced to share their feelings.”

“Wait, so Aunt May wasn’t kidding when she said you were reading parenting books,” Peter snickered into his hand as Tony rolled his eyes and shoved Peter’s shoulder lightly. 

“No comment. But stop changing the topic. If the collar isn’t for your spidery-ness, then why the heck are you wearing it?” 

“It’s for my non-spider powers,” Peter remarked offhandedly. Tony jerked and made a choking sound.

“For crying out loud, kid. I’m gonna have to cancel my next meeting. This is why you need to call me as soon as things happen. This is too many heart attacks for one sitting,” Tony muttered. He rubbed his head with his eyes closed. One deep breath later, and he was back to facing Peter. 

“So can you help me? I’ve rebuilt and redesigned the stupid thing half a dozen times by now, but I don’t think it’s working.” Peter groaned and tilted his head towards Tony. The new angle made his eyebags seem even more pronounced. 

“Well, I still don’t see anything else wrong with it. What makes you think it’s broken?” Tony asked as he brought one of the larger parts closer to his face. He leaned back and rested his feet up on the table. 

“Stuff is still going wrong. You saw that snake guy earlier, right?” 

“Have you considered that you ran into a supervillain because you’re basically chasing them down?” Peter blinked up at him with a blank face. “It’s either that or every hero in existence somehow developed the same mutant power without anyone noticing.” Peter raised his head a bit so it was propped in his hand instead of lying flat on the table. 

“Are you sure?”

Tony was starting to figure out what was going on here. Why Peter looked so exhausted, and why he insisted Tony look over the collar. The parenting books that he definitely did not read had not prepared him for this in the slightest. 

“Positive. You did a great job building it, kid. Now, we’re going to eat some pizza while you explain exactly how you found out you had mutant powers and why you decided not to tell me about it.” Tony slung his arm around the kid’s head and guided him out of the lab. He pretended not to notice how Peter was leaning into his side.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I spreading out an info dump or did my plans for a fic change halfway through. Who can know for sure? 
> 
> So yeah I've finally finished this fic. It was a lot of fun to write it, and I've been wanting to write it for about a year now. It feels good to post this. I hope you all enjoyed reading this!


End file.
